For as long as I can remember, I have been fascinated by the way the meaning of a name seems to end up fitting the personality of the person carrying the name. This phenomenon is further evidenced by Biblical names and meanings, and the way that God would even change the names of people when He changed their destiny, and wanted the world to know it. (Ex.: Abraham in Genesis 17:5, Sarah in Genesis 17:15, Israel in Genesis 35:10, Saul of Tarsus to Paul the Apostle, and Simon to Peter in Matthew 16:17-18)
When you hear the news of a baby’s birth, do you wait with eager anticipation to hear the name by which this child will be called? Or is that just me?
If it is a name rich with meaning, that just rolls off the tongue, I am overjoyed! If it is a name I am not particularly fond of, it is like a balloon deflating, or a firecracker fizzling out before it can be enjoyed by a waiting crowd. I think of all of the possibilities and potential of a great name to live up to, and feel the opportunity has not been realized.
Imagine the scene with me, then, in ancient Israel, at the birth of a little boy. Friends and relatives waiting eagerly to hear what this boy will be called. Someone poses the question to his mom, and she says, “His name is Pain.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard that right. I thought you said his name was Pain,” they chuckled.
“No, you heard right. His name is Pain. I bore him in pain, so I’m going to call him Pain.”
Ouch! That’s more than deflating. It’s actually a bit hurtful! He wasn’t trying to hurt her. Nobody really knows why she said she “bore him in pain”, though scholars have tried to speculate. Maybe there were complications with his delivery, and it was especially painful? Or, perhaps she meant he was born at a painful time in her life? Maybe she had lost her husband, and was now going to have to provide for him, and his siblings, alone? Perhaps she wasn’t trying to hurt him, but just marking an emotionally painful time?
In fairness, his actual name was Jabez, but everyone knew what it meant. And like I mentioned, Biblical name meanings were significant and purposeful. It was a heavy label to brand a newborn baby with!
Jabez’s name told a story. (You can read more of the story in I Chronicles 4:9-10)
It was his identity, and the narrative that his name declared to everyone, but especially to himself, was that he brought pain and sorrow, by his very existence. His name was a constant reminder that he caused pain.
Initially, at least, his name was a true representation of him. His mom said, “I bore him in pain”, so his birth into this world was not something she seemed to welcome as a good thing in her life. His mother’s negative evaluation of him, however, became the summation of his own character. A summation that he had to overcome in his own mind, and in the mind of all he met, for all of his days…until the weight of it got too much for him to bear. (I’ll get back to this!)
Do you understand that it is the truth in the names we are called that make them so burdensome?
Perhaps you have been called “Lazy” or “Stupid” or “Selfish” and you are wearing yourself out trying to prove that you’re not? Aren’t we all lazy, or stupid, or selfish sometimes? It is the truth that hurts.
Maybe you were told that you will never be “good enough,” or “smart enough,” or “attractive enough”, or that you are even “too much” of a certain characteristic, or just too much trouble, generally. These may be things that others have said to you, or even labels that you have taken on yourself by comparing yourself with others. There will ALWAYS be someone to compare yourself to, that will cause you to come up short. We all have strengths and weaknesses. We know that, of course, but it doesn’t stop us from the comparison trap.
Maybe you think now that you are too broken, or you have done something too terrible to forgive, or you are too old to matter to anyone anymore.
Can I remind you again, it is the little kernel of truth in these labels that causes the lies to grow into thick, pervasive weeds in our mind. Maybe you truly ARE broken, or old, or guilty. But attach the word “too” in front of it, and it becomes a lie. A lie big enough to wrap its rambling roots around every aspect of your life, and choke out any hope for a better tomorrow.
Maybe you have been trying to convince yourself that you ARE “enough”, but deep in your soul, you know that you are not. That is true. (And it is a truth that will set you free!) You are not enough on your own merits, or in your own strength. But the good news is, that’s why Jesus died for you! That is the gospel (good news) plan in a nutshell! We needed a Savior, and Jesus died to save us! The first step in understanding the gospel is acknowledging you are a sinner and cannot save yourself. So, that inner struggle and striving to be someone you don’t have the strength to be, is the Spirit of God revealing to you your need.
If you are already a Christian, you are not immune to the damage of labels and lies. We are going to face the effects of believing lies all of our days on this earth. The answer is still in acknowledging that we are being crushed under the weight of them, and turning to God for help. Which reminds me, I want to tell you how Jabez’s story ended.
Jabez was mentioned in the genealogy of the tribe of Judah as being “more honorable than any of his brothers.”
Wait, what?! Yes, really! Want to know why? Because “He was the one who prayed to the God of Israel, ‘Oh, that you would bless me and expand my territory! Please be with me in all that I do, and keep me from all trouble and pain!’ ” The New King James Version actually translates it as “that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!”
That sounds like the prayer of a man who was tired of being described, or even thought of, as the one who caused pain! The names we are called can attach themselves to us so deeply, that they can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. I’d say he had experienced his own share of pain in life, just by being saddled with that label from birth. But if “the one who causes pain” appeared to those who knew him as a true judgement of his character, what a burden to carry! He was tired of it! And fed up enough to take his burden to the One who could remove that burden from him and change his destiny!
Do you know what happened next? “God granted him his request.” Hallelujah!
I want to know more, don’t you? How long did it take him to get to the point of asking for deliverance? What was the catalyst that finally got him to that point? How drastically did his life, and destiny, and legacy change?
God wants us to live in victory, and abundance, and He smiles when we finally realize that the burdens we are carrying are not meant to ruin us, but to draw us closer to Him. They are designed to show us that we need Him, and as we learn to depend on Him more, He will display His life-changing power in and through us!
What about you? How long have you been wearing your label? How long is it going to take for you to get to the point of asking for deliverance? Remember, you are who God says you are. You do not have to live your life carrying the weight of a label that someone else stuck you with—even if there is a kernel of truth in it!
Perhaps, like Jabez, God will hear your heartfelt cries for deliverance, and He will grant you your request in an instant. He can do that, and sometimes He does! (Though there is no timeline given for Jabez’s deliverance, either. We don’t get to hear the rest of his story.) In my experience, though, this kind of deliverance is a process of identifying the labels and lies that have become so much a part of us, and learning to replace those lies with the truth, through the Word of God and the power of the Holy Spirit. I would love to be able to walk with you through that process of discovering your true worth and identity in who God says you are!